I usually don’t write a post just for a single day, but this is a special case. Wednesday, I woke up and went into work. I was surprisingly refreshed, but did my best to avoid seeing people as I was not in a social mood. I spent the morning editing my pictures and stopped by Susan’s to say hi on my way home for lunch. I took a nap after lunch and was thankfully able to pull myself out of bed again at 3:40-ish. I made a store list, prepped a little for Wired on Thursday and then I went into my office. It was at that point that I got the email I had been waiting for.
The verdict is in, and I am officially going to Stanford in the fall. I was not chosen for the Weidenfeld Scholarship. There were no tears, just a rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath and a rather unpleasant sinking feeling in my stomach. I would be lying to say I’m not disappointed. I kind of feel it was cruel joke for God to bring to Oxford, let me fall in love with the place all over again, and then say… nope, just kidding. The funny thing is I felt like everything had gone so well. Like I said I wouldn’t have done anything differently, so I can’t say I am upset with myself in any capacity. I tried my best. I obviously wasn’t what they were looking for and that is okay. I still feel like I am destined for Oxford at some point in time, but I guess the timing just wasn’t quite right yet.
Anyway, the truth is I couldn’t be happier to go to Stanford. It seems that is where I'm supposed to be, and now I can view the Oxford trip as simply wonderful and unexpected blessing. So following the reception of the scholarship outcome, I was able to finalize everything else. I am going to room at Stanford with my friend Sarah Moore. I thanked the professor I met at Oxford and delivered the news I would not be at Oxford in the fall. I also emailed the Stanford people with the positive message that I would be there in the fall and was surprised by a lovely response from one woman saying she was sorry for me that I didn’t get the scholarship, but also delighted, even though it might sound awful, not to have to wait a year to have me at Stanford. That was the kind of response I needed. What a journey this graduate school stuff has been?! Both physically traveling all over the place, and emotionally going from the depths of despair (gotta love Anne Shirley) to the pinnacles of happiness. I am happy to be set for the fall and happier to be going to Stanford. I am ready to be in one place for a while and I can’t think of any place that would have suited me better. Besides, I left it all up to God and I don’t think he makes the wrong choices.
“I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but is the Lord’s purpose which prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3
Anyway, at 6:00pm I called it a night. I went and grabbed my bike and headed for the shoppette. I was able to find everything on my shopping list and went home to make dinner. I made a great pasta dinner with a spinach and cream cheese sauce. It was great. The recipe is definitely a keeper. You can find it online here at RecipeZaar.com. RecipeZaar is my favorite online recipe site. Try it, you’ll like it.
Susan and I toasted my plans for Stanford and enjoyed a great meal. She brought over some salad that went great with the pasta. After dinner, I borrowed Susan’s hard drive, made some popcorn, and watched the movie Juno. Well done is all I can say… I haven’t really taken the time to analyze it for the deeper meanings, but it is quite enjoyable to watch. I can see why it got such great reviews and won all those awards!
That is all. You can expect the next update in a week or so. Hopefully, this has given you enough to read for a while. It took me long enough to write, that is for sure! Sorry it is coming all at once. That is what happens... p.s. here's a shout out to Raj, who helped me cultivate my love for English culture!
Enjoy the all pictures as well!
a.k.a. the wearied traveler...